Trust in God

Step 3- Decide to turn your will and life over to the care of God the Eternal Father and in His Son, Jesus Christ.
I love the first three steps I heard in a meeting once that the first three steps can be simplified to -I can't- He will- and finally I will let Him. I think that is a way of crying out for peace. Living a completely insane life and knowing that the only way to serenity and that long awaited peace is by surrendering the fight and relying on His grace. GRACE- that is what this step is all about, to live in His will is a huge decision and seems impossible until we grasp the fact that it's not about our strength and will power it's about trying our best and having faith He will make up the difference.
An overwhelming answer to a prayer came when I was working this step throughly again a few months ago. I was reading the Book of Mormon for the pure intent of understanding the Atonement more throughly. I was wrapped up on words and trying to understand the history and story line. I prayed and asked for the strength to live more righteously. I then read a conference talk and Jeffrey R. Holland plainly said we get credit for trying. That was my answer, I don't need to understand the Book of Mormon perfectly and I don't need to be prefect but I do need to TRY!
I don't know God's will exactly but I do know I can try everyday to use the atonement and follow my Savior's example of love kindest and meakness.
I have heard several times now that we all have to experience our own Gethsemane, that we will hurt and suffer and will feel overwhelming pain. This addiction and the whirlwind of destruction has been my Gethsemane. The pain I have felt and the hell I've walked through has been the worst of my life. Now that I have had time and so many tender mercies an AA saying rings true "share your pain". It may only help me to share in meetings of where I've been and how I'm becoming a better person now. Or this blog of writing down my weakness and strengths. It might be for me to be able to reflect back on in hard times or God's will in mind help someone feel even an ounce less pain that I've felt through all of my hardships or give hope that the pain can lessened and learned from.
I know this step is a decision that has to be made daily and I am grateful I have a loving Heavenly Father who has a plan for me to be happy and be of service to others through the amazing gift of my Savior's atonement.